Why it's good to get kicked out of your nest
Extra points if you kick yourself out!
"To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest."
- Buddhist monk Pema Chodron
Jubilee! Circle, the spiritual community I founded 12 years ago in Columbia, S.C., got thrown out of the nest in January 2017. We had been meeting in a yoga room at a gym on Millwood Avenue for about six years when the landlord announced that we had to leave at the end of the month. There was a part of me that panicked. What will we do? Where will we go?
We were much smaller than we are now and did not have a lot of money at our disposal to put down on another place. We had been used to sharing space but we had begun talking internally about the desire to have our own place. It was tiresome to set up our equipment and chairs every week and tear it all down again afterward. "Wouldn't it be nice," we wondered out loud, "if we had a place that could just stay set up all the time?"
We went in search of just such a place, but in the interim, the Columbia Children's Theater was generous enough to share their space at the Richland Mall. Jubilee! Circle had never been an easy place for visitors to find, and it was even harder to find us in the mall, but Spirit grew us during that time, and gave us a fun space to be in, at that.
As I said, part of me panicked when we lost our Millwood space, but another part of me rejoiced, because our eviction was just the catalyst that we needed to go out there and pursue our dream of having our own place. By August, we had found just such a place, right down the street from the old place, back on Millwood. In fact, the strip mall we ended up in was in disrepair for much of the time that we were in our original space and I would often stare down the street and think, "That place would be great."
Years later, that's exactly where we landed. Full circle.
We've all been thrown out of the nest numerous times in life. We were first expelled from our mother's comfortable womb – something that made us cry. As children, we were tossed from the nest of our stay-at-home lifestyle when school began (again, making a lot of us cry). As a young adult, graduation from high school and perhaps then college propelled us from our comfortable nests. Other times we've been thrown out of the nest include when jobs started, then ended, or when relationship began, then ended.
Getting thrown out of the nest is how life pushes us out of our comfort zone to help us grow. At first, it may feel unpleasant, but if we can see those "thrown from the nest" moments as opportunities to grow, then we can become "fully alive, fully human and completely awake," as Chodron says.
I invite you to consider those times when you've been thrown from the nest. What was your reaction? Could you move from fear of the unknown into a more curious stance, willing to see the new opportunities that could open up for you? Can you look back on your own "thrown from the nest" moments and see how new paths opened up for you that would not have if you had stayed safely ensconced in your comfort zone?
Perhaps, this week, you can take time to consider even the smallest step you can take right now to get outside of your comfort zone to open up new possibilities for growth and new experiences. It doesn't have to be anything big.
For me, it's been a willingness to open myself up to new experiences by joining an online writing community. I am usually quite shy in Zoom situations with strangers, but I've allowed myself to take a more engaged role within this group, and I'm learning a lot from other writers and finding a sense of fellowship.
I could only do that by throwing myself out of the nest.
Comfort zones are great, and we love them, but they never help us grow to our next level of spiritual depth. I invite you this week, make your nest a little bit more uncomfortable and see what kind of new opportunities the Spirit opens up for you. I know it will be a path of joy and love, because that's what rushes to meet us when we step beyond our fear.
Namaste,
Rev. Candace Chellew
Jubilee! Circle Spiritual Director and Motley Mystic
Are you looking for spiritual guidance?
I am a trained and certified spiritual director who can help you deepen your connection to the Holy and guide you as you seek spiritual growth and transformation.
If you’ve been feeling out of touch with the Holy or simply want to explore new practices to strengthen your spirituality, I can help you. I use a motley collection of techniques based in traditions such as Buddhism, Christianity, metaphysics and, of course, A Course in Miracles.
Contact me at candace@motleymystic.com for more details.
Take 20 with Candace
If you don’t have time to watch the full replay of Jubilee! Circle’s weekly celebrations, you can cut to the chase and spend 20 minutes (give or take) with me and enjoy my weekly message. This message is taken from Jubilee! Circle's celebration from February 6 as we learned how to see the light in the darkness.
Subscribe to Jubilee! Circle’s YouTube channel and join us every Sunday at 11 a.m. EST for our livestreamed celebrations!
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass and the founder and senior editor emeritus of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for LGBTQ People of Faith. She is also a musician and avid beer drinker.
When I graduated from my MFA and moved to South Texas--it was a big kick out of a nest that nurtured my creative writing. It was painful for a long time, but that pain eventual motivated me to start a community literary arts center https://www.writersstudio.org/ which has been WAY more rewarding and fulfilling than the MFA program that it replaced. Growing pains are inevitable. Thanks for the reminder.