What to do when you're not feeling the love
Remember that you are surrounded by the Love of God
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I was beginning to get frustrated.
A guest at my Airbnb had called to report a partial power outage in the house, a broken air conditioner and an Internet outage that was hampering their ability to work. That was a lot to handle at once, but I've been doing my work and instead of panicking or seeing the situation as a reason to become anxious, I sprang into action. I called the Internet provider and was told when the outage was expected to be fixed. I called the HVAC guy and a friend who can do electrical work.
It was all fixed that same day … but the guest was still agitated. They had rearranged their day and decided to leave a day early because of the inconvenience. That was fine and arrangements were made.
Still, I could feel frustration setting in. The guest recounted that they were having some personal problems and "a lot" going on in their lives. I was, of course, sympathetic, but I had done everything within my power to make this part of her world work. The Internet was back, as was the cool air and the power. My ego wanted some gratitude, and all I got was grumbling.
I had recently been doing Lesson 264 from A Course in Miracles that states: "I am surrounded by the love of God." As the problems at the house unfolded, I had actually said that aloud before calling service companies and my friend. Finding same-day service can sometimes be tricky, but I knew, if I was surrounded by the love of God, what I needed would appear. And it did.
This moment, however, proved difficult. I knew the love of God surrounded us both, but my petty self was having a moment of frustration. I had been as helpful, as gracious and as cooperative as possible – and there was no gratitude coming my way. My ego was about to have a tantrum. It was weeks later that I realized I was still holding this grievance.
The only way to release it was to remind myself that the whole situation was bathed in God's love and while I didn't need to contact the past guest, I could meet them in my mind – in that place beyond wrongdoing and right-doing that the Muslim mystic poet Rumi talks about – and forgive them and myself – which is really the same thing, anyway. I met them there and blessed them and the troubles they perceived to be wracking their life. It's true I'm not responsible for their perceived traumas, but it's also true that I am responsible for bringing whatever is missing in any situation. This one needed love and forgiveness.
How would it change the way you lived if you truly believed that in every moment of your life, you are surrounded by the love of God? Even in those moments when you're feeling frustrated or another person isn't acting how you think they should be acting? The Course says there are only two forces in play in this world – love and a call for love. Whenever we're not feeling the love – when frustration or anger builds – we're invited to feel that as a call for love. It's up to us in those situations to provide the love, because the other person obviously can't do it right now.
If you find, though, that you can’t bring what’s missing in the moment, it’s never too late. Just like I did, when you realize that you needed to bring the love, peace, joy or forgiveness to that moment and you missed it, you can still do it. We’re all connected at the level of spirit and whenever we decide to bring that missing love, that missing joy, peace or forgiveness to a past situation, we can do that and heal that past moment in this present one.
If some situation remains unhealed or unresolved in your mind, I invite you to take it out to Rumi’s field beyond this ego world - that place where we remain all one in the mind and heart of God. If you bring the love, peace, joy or forgiveness to this place, that other person may not feel anything in their conscious awareness, but on the level of spirit, healing will take place.
I invite you to spend every moment of your life realizing this one thing: The Love of God surrounds you. When the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket around you, remind yourself that the only thing that truly remains in your control is how you react to the situation. You can be mad, frustrated, feel like the victim, or you can breathe deeply, and know that you are not your circumstances. Chaos is the ego's domain and you don't have to live there.
Instead, if love is missing, it's your job to bring it forward. If peace is missing, you're the one who needs to bring it. If joy is missing, bring it to the party. If calm is needed, that's your responsibility. We are the light of the world, my friends, and our function is to remember that the Love of God surrounds us. We swim in that love daily and the more we become aware that it flows through us from that never-ending divine source, then the easier it is to move out of the ego's grievances and allow that love to flow.
Music for the Journey
“Let Your Love Flow” by The Bellamy Brothers
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass. She is also a musician and avid beer drinker.