Tired of war? Peace begins at home
Give peace a chance
Even a pebble tossed into the whole ocean changes the whole ocean.
– Jack Kornfield
I read the news this week, and I felt my heart slam shut.
The images of the bodies of innocent civilians, the burned-out tanks, cars and homes in Bucha, Ukraine, were almost more than I could bear. I wept as I read the articles and took in the horror of what had been done to the people who lived in this suburb of Kyiv by the invading Russian soldiers.
Then, I got angry. How can we be this inhumane to each other? Rounding up non-combatant citizens, tying their hands behind their backs and executing them in the streets, leaving them lying there like trash. Then, digging a mass grave for the rest of the innocent souls they murdered – and most likely tortured beforehand.
I felt hatred take root in my tightly clenched heart. I hated the soldiers who did this. I hated the man who unleashed them on citizens who, up until about a month ago, were just going about their lives. They were building their businesses, loving their families, going to school, or church, planting gardens, walking their dogs, improving their homes. Just living, like many of us, in peace and freedom. Then evil came to town – and my heart burst with hatred for those who had done this, and for anyone who believes war is good or necessary.
Who could blame me? The atrocities we are seeing in this war – and those we have witnessed in other areas such as Syria, Myanmar and Sudan – they present undeniable evidence of the evil we human beings can house within ourselves and inflict on the world.
And, yet … even in the middle of my anguish and hatred, I realized in that moment, I was part of the problem. Any moment I spend harboring hatred, resentment, grievance, or attack within my own heart, mind, or soul – I am a perpetrator of war, just as guilty as any of those soldiers and their leaders. This is how a world dominated by a collective consciousness works – we are all responsible for the world we create outside of ourselves. This is why it is imperative for us to do our inner work of disarming ourselves and learning how to keep our heart open – even in the midst of atrocities and unspeakable human suffering. If we close up, especially in these moments when open hearts are so badly needed, we cannot be agents of peace and healing.
To bring healing into the world means to constantly choose not to become hardened, bitter, or despairing of the world, no matter how much evidence of its brokenness and evil we witness. Suffering is happening in the world because there is suffering within each of us that remains unrecognized and unhealed and so we project it outward as fear, shame, blame, or worst of all, support for war against those we hate. Our duty to each other is to heal our own evil, to put down the guns in our own hearts, and release our own grievances against each other.
I cannot physically do anything to end the war in Ukraine or any other country. The only war I can end is the one within myself – the war between a heart that wants to remain closed and a heart that wants to remain open, even if that openness causes my heart to break. I lost a battle in that war when I read the news from Bucha, but I am determined to win the war within – by declaring peace and disarming against myself. When my warlike nature appears, I see it for what it is – suffering, fear, shame, and anger. It isn't a part of me that needs to be "defeated." It's a part that needs to be loved so fiercely that it surrenders peacefully and comes back to its true home as part of my Holy wholeness.
What works within also works without. Just as even the most depraved parts of my own psyche are not beyond redemption, so too, those who perpetrate war, violence and death truly are truly innocent children of God who are lost deeply in the fog of their warlike ego – convinced they must bend this world to their will. Just as we reach deeply to muster compassion for our own warlike tendencies, we must be able to extend that to even the worst offender.
We do not play the games of war. We resolve instead to be that fierce love that sees past the evil and suffering they inflict on others to the innocence that lies deeply buried within. We resolve to remain open to all the suffering of the world – both the suffering of the victim, and the perpetrator. If those who wage war were not suffering, they would see no reason to attack anyone else!
The good news is, you don't have to go to a war zone to become a peacemaker. As all spiritual matters go, the best way to begin is right where you are. There are wars of ideology going on in our own backyard. Who among us has not declared war against some other political, religious, or social faction and the people who follow them? Who among us has not declared that "those people" are stupid, insane, misguided, stingy, recalcitrant or downright evil? These are not people living in far off lands – many of them are our own family members!
You want to bring peace to the world? Bring peace at home first. Make peace with that family member that makes you nuts. Stop calling people names on Facebook just because they view the world differently than you do. Stop wishing terrible things on the person who cut you off in traffic or slowed you down at the grocery store checkout with a million coupons, or heaven forbid, wrote a check!
Give the people around you some grace. Look deeper than the differences we believe we have and see our common ground as innocent, beloved children of God. If you can't go that far, just stop long enough to see them as fellow human beings with challenges, joys, despairs, and the same yearning for freedom and deep peace that you have.
If we can just see each other as humans – as worthy simply because we're here doing our best with what we have – wars would end immediately. It begins by seeing yourself this way – as innocent, beloved, worthy, and free. Sometimes, the hardest war to end is the one within, but the whole world is depending on us to declare peace as the only goal we want within our own heart, mind, soul, and skin.
This is the peace declaration that matters – transforming our own inner swords into plowshares so we can plant seeds of love, joy, mercy, and compassion everywhere we go. That's how we end every war, forever.
Your turn: How are you creating peace within so it manifests without? Leave a comment!
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Take 20 with Candace
Constantly looking for what you don’t have? Are you possessed by your possessions? The good news is that true abundance is possible. This week’s Take 20 is taken from Jubilee! Circle's celebration from April 3, 2022: “The Barrier of Abundance.”
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The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass and the founder and senior editor emeritus of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for LGBTQ People of Faith. She is also a musician and avid animal lover.