The problem with problems
And why you only really have one
"I got 99 problems … "
— Jay-Z
With all due respect to Jay-Z, he only has 98 problems. In fact, every single one of us has one problem – our enduring belief in the Big Lie of Humanity.
The "Big Lie" has become part of our cultural landscape since a certain ex-president took issue with the election results that sent him packing up his stuff (and a good bit of the US government's stuff) and shuffling off to his Florida retreat. The Big Lie has deepened our sense of separation and tribalism in this country. We can barely stand to even think about those on "the other side" of the Big Lie without disgust at best and hatred or demonization at worse.
The issue seems to be tearing us apart as a country, undermining not just our unity as citizens but our faith in the very institutions of our representative democracy. It certainly is an interesting time to be alive.
I, however, see the Big Lie not as a giant step backward for our country (or our species), but as a giant leap forward. Why? Because the Big Lie is the microcosm of the one macrocosmic actual problem that we face: Our belief in separation.
The little political Big Lie has been so egregious and overblown that I believe it has finally laid bare the overarching Big Lie for those with the spiritual awareness to see it. This political Big Lie has shown us, in a grand and distressing way, that our egoic structure of separation is teetering on the brink of extinction. We have plenty of choices at this point in history, but the only choice that will redeem the situation and save the world is the choice for fear over love – the choice for unity over separation.
You see, this is our only problem; our belief that we are separate from one another. It plays out politically when we choose a "side" and vilify those on the "other side." Separation is the root cause of all of our problems. Depression? It stems from a belief that we're separate from our innate joy. Poverty? It stems from the belief in lack. Greed? It stems from the same sense of lack because we believe we can never truly have enough. War? It stems from a belief that we must separate by culture, borders, religions and social constructs. Broken relationships? It stems from the belief that those we love are different from us in many respects.
How do we solve this one "problem?" First, we stop calling it a problem, because it's not something that we need to solve. We've made a mistake believing in separation and everything we perceive as a problem in our lives stems from this mistake. Mistakes are not solved. They are corrected.
We correct our mistake by ditching our belief in separation and turning our full heart and mind to our true function here, remembering that we are the vastness of consciousness itself. As the all that is, our task here, as A Course in Miracles says, is not to seek for love, but to remove all the barriers we've built against it. Rejecting the Big Lie of Separation is the only barrier to be removed. Once we realize that all we are is formless, invisible Holy consciousness having a bodily experience, "this world ceases to be a problem," writes author and Temple of the Universe founder Michael Singer in his book The Untethered Soul. "It's just something you're watching. It keeps changing, but there is no sense of that being a problem."
The ego, though, feeds on problems. If it can keep us stuck spinning our wheels in whatever we call problems it can keep us believing the Big Lie of separation, because all of our problems seem personal, be they financial, professional, mental, physical (which is a big one for many of us), or spiritual.
What's the solution? Stop seeing your problems as "yours." Stop taking them personally. The universe isn't out to get you. Singer likes to say that this moment took 13.5 billion years to get here and then you judge it as good or bad. Drop the judgement. Drop your story about what your problems are.
Instead, as teacher and author Kyle Cease says, see your problems simply as situations or circumstances. They are occurring and they need to be handled, but by shifting our perspective about them, they become less overwhelming because they're not trials sent by God to test our faith, they're just the things that are happening. Some may demand more of our attention than others, but in the end, it's just stuff happening that we need to attend to. It's nothing personal.
Singer gives us an exercise to begin to wrap our heads around this idea. Use the weather. We often get upset when we perceive that the weather doesn't cooperate and ruins our plans. It rains on our wedding day, or storms when we planned a picnic or other outdoor event. We take it personally that weather has ruined our perfect plans.
The weather doesn't care about you. It's not raining on purpose to ruin your day. It's just doing what weather does. If you can accept that weather will be weather whether you like it or not, then you're well on your way to seeing all your problems as simply circumstances that occur without regard to your preference.
If you get really good at this practice, eventually, you'll just give up all of your preferences and roll with whatever circumstance may come your way without being upset about any of it. If you get that good, you'll be enlightened, and you'll finally see through the Big Lie of separation.
I don't think any of us are quite there yet, so what else, other than fully accepting the weather can we do? Singer has another tool: Relax. Whenever we get uptight about our circumstances, we physically tighten up, but we also spiritually contract. Fear contracts our spirit, it puts us right back into our small self where we think we have all these problems.
What's happening in this state of contraction is that our energy is blocked. We all have what the Eastern religions call this "shakti" energy – that Divine flow of Light and Love that wants to express itself in the world through us.
We block that flow when we spiritually contract. Those contractions are caused by something called "samskaras." These are the wounds we store within ourselves. It can be anything from the pain of a breakup to that moment when mom or dad yelled at you or didn't pay attention to you in the way you wanted back when you were a kid.
We all hold this emotional baggage and we live our lives trying to arrange the world outside of ourselves to not hit that stuff and trigger our pattern of pain. It's exhausting. Instead of trying to avoid the outside world from triggering us, the best course of action is to allow those patterns to be seen, learned from, healed and released.
The best exercise when we're triggered, Singer says, is to simply relax. When we feel ourselves tensing up, getting angry, or sad or defensive, we simply take a moment and breathe deeply. We allow the feeling to just be there instead of pushing it down like we have in the past. We breathe deeply for as long as it takes to allow that emotion to pass through us. This is how we release our samskaras and allow that energy of Love and Light to flow within us out into the world.
I've written about my anger before and how I built an entire egoic identity based on being an angry person. I had a pattern of anger. When I finally recognized it and allowed it to heal and pass through me, I released not just my anger, but my identification with it. Samskaras are those traumas you identify with – that you build your ego on.
Many of us have a victim ego, a depressed ego, a cynical ego, a distrustful ego. These are all built on some pattern we created, usually as a child, to cope with painful situations.
This is why we think we have problems, because we built our egos around painful situations and called them problems. You have no problems. You have samskaras – painful patterns that need to be healed. This is our work in the world and the main tool we have to heal not just our trauma but all the trauma of the world is this: forgiveness.
Forgiveness, of course, gets a bad rap since we think we have to just overlook everything bad that ever happened to us and forget about all the bad stuff others did to us. This is the ego's idea of forgiveness. To the higher Divine Self, forgiveness is a tool to remember who we all truly are – the formless, invisible, eternal and innocent essence of God. It's not about forgetting what happened to you, it's about realizing that nothing that happens in this world can change who you truly or who others truly are, because we are all the vastness of Holy consciousness.
This world is our classroom and it's up to us to see everything in our lives as lessons in holiness – a curriculum meant to help us wake up and finally see through the big lie of separation. Everyone is your teacher – and you are everyone's teacher. How you handle situations in your life helps you learn what you came here to learn, and it helps others learn what they need to learn by watching your example.
When you look out on this world and see the Big Lie causing so much separation in this world be grateful. What's happening out there is a reflection of what's happening within, and I believe more and more of us are seeing through the Big Lie of separation and it's playing out in the world around us. This is good news, because when more of us see the truth, and bring our illusion of separation to it for healing, the faster this world becomes the happy dream, and we all awaken to our truth.
You can help the process along by beginning within and healing your own samskaras, because that will release the energy of Divine Love and Light that is meant to be flowing through you at all times into this world. Will we do it perfectly all the time? No. But as we become more aware, we will get better at it.
Today, Cease says, "you have the choice of keeping your problems which means keeping your 'small you,' or connecting to the 'all that isness.' If you continually connect to the problem, you're giving up the 'all that isness.' If you connect to the 'all that isness,' you're giving up your problems. They're just circumstances. There's nothing personal about it. There's nothing for the small self to fix. There's just what is."
The truth about ourselves is this: We are eternal, timeless beings having human experiences of circumstances that, if we use them rightly, can help us remember who we truly are. Our remembering that we are the “all that isness” is what ultimately heals the world and corrects our one mistake of believing in the separation. That's just the way it is. And that never changes.
Your turn: How as the mistake of believing in our separation affected your life? What identities have you built around your samskaras? How are you learning to relax and release the Big Lie of separation so your shakti healing energy of Love can flow freely from you into the world?
Music for the Journey:
The Way it Is - Bruce Hornsby and the Range
What if you had a roadmap to help you awaken on your spiritual journey? The AWAKEN model will help you heal and get moving again. Join me online or in-person for this special workshop on Saturday, Sept. 10, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m.
About this event
Sometimes we all feel lost on our spiritual journey - stuck in old ways of thinking, believing and acting. The AWAKEN model can help you heal those old patterns and get you moving again on your spiritual path. Rev. Candace Chellew, Motley Mystic and spiritual director at Jubilee! Circle, has developed a six-step process that helps you identify the patterns that are holding you in your limitations and a method to heal and release them.
This is a hybrid event held at 6729 Two Notch Road in Columbia, SC at Jubilee! Circle or on Zoom. Register to attend on Zoom
Light snacks will be served for those joining us in person.
A suggested donation of $15 is requested from all participants, but no one is turned away.
Take 20 with Candace
This week’s Take 20 is from Jubilee! Circle's August 14, 2022, celebration: “Humanity’s Big Lie.”
If you wish to support my work, please consider making a donation to Jubilee! Circle.
Want to learn more about A Course in Miracles?
Jubilee! Circle hosts an informal discussion group about A Course in Miracles every Wednesday night at 7:30 p.m. Eastern Time. If you’re in the Columbia, SC area, you can join us in-person at 6729 Two Notch Road, Ste. 70 in Columbia. If you’re anywhere else in the world, join us by Zoom using the link below. Whether you’re new to ACIM, or have been studying it for years, this is a low-pressure, friendly environment to learn more and grow together! Join us:
Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86088245457?pwd=bWd6QzhscGlUYnFnYUU1dy9uTUVMZz09
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass and the founder and senior editor emeritus of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for LGBTQ People of Faith. She is also a musician and avid animal lover.
Wonderful, again...
"Many of us have a victim ego, a depressed ego, a cynical ego, a distrustful ego. These are all built on some pattern we created, usually as a child, to cope with painful situations."