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(This is an edited and expanded version of the attached podcast.)
I used to be a very angry person, and I felt like my anger was justified. I was angry at my father for abandoning the family when I was nine years old. I was angry at God, because my father, as a Southern Baptist preacher, had preached many sermons against adultery and divorce, and then went and partook in both of them. I was angry at a God that didn't inspire much loyalty in – and believe me, it was HIS – words in that Bible thing. I remember being so angry over my parents' divorce, that I went through my childhood Bible and underlined every passage that forbids divorce and adultery to prove to myself that even God knew that my father was wrong, wrong, wrong.
I was especially angry that my father was acting like he was right, that this was something he had every right to do. And I guess he did. We all have a right to make our own choices, even if other people are hurt by them. As I've grown, though I've learned that my father is not responsible for my anger. I am responsible for my anger.
Of course, I was young, I didn't know these things when I made these choices. But being an angry person was my choice. It was a choice that I embraced with great enthusiasm. It wasn't until I reached my mid-30s, though, that I realized, I needed to make a different choice. The choice for anger had done a lot of damage to my life. It had cost me relationships. It had cost me my mental health in some ways. It was beginning to affect my physical health, with high blood pressure and that sort of thing. I was just a wreck. Finally, I thought to myself, there has got to be a better way.
I didn't know the principles of A Course in Miracles at this time, but I had stumbled onto it's one step to heal the world of fear and anger and the suffering it produces: willingness. The Course says that if we have even just a little willingness to change, or to see the world differently, or to live in a different way, Holy Spirit moves right in and says, "Okay, now we can start working with you."
The moment I became willing to let go of my anger and cynicism the world around me changed dramatically. I started to meet people who weren't angry and cynical and outraged at the world like all my friends were. I met people who were spiritual, who were kind and compassionate and saw the universe as a loving and supportive place.
It was through these people that I was introduced to my metaphysical journey. I always call Wayne Dyer my "gateway guru" because he was the first New Age, or New Thought, person that I began reading and listening to. I encountered his teachings through a couple I met while living in Atlanta who hosted a monthly study of different texts and religious beliefs in their home. Through them, I became willing to see the world differently and realized that I could make a different choice in how I lived my life.
Dyer's teachings convinced me that the reason I am in this world – which I believe is the reason every single one of us is in this world – is to learn forgiveness. I've told the story of how I went to my father's grave and forgave him as the first step in my forgiveness journey. I've recently come to a place of true peace and forgiveness for my father, but, of course other issues have emerged. I believe none of us are ever truly done with our forgiveness work. It really is a journey and not a destination.
Good news: We can choose again
These days, though, I see the anger and division and separation going on in the world, and it reminds me that people are still very much like I was back in my mid-30s. So many of us just don't know that we can choose to let go of that anger and outrage and make a new choice for peace, love and joy. We all can make the choice to see the world differently. All it takes is that one step – a little willingness. It doesn't even take subscribing to any metaphysical teachers, methods or ideas. All it takes is that moment of saying, "I'm really tired of being angry. It's really destroying my life in so many ways, it's destroying my spirit, and my mental health and my physical health." When we're willing to let go of our anger, our need to be right, or our need to control the world outside of us, that's when Holy Spirit can step in and take over.
We have to be gentle with ourselves, though. My transformation out of anger into a more compassionate and loving state of being – not just a state of mind or spirit – didn't happen overnight. There are still moments when I can lose my temper quite easily. I still become frustrated with the state of the world and its ongoing, seemingly endless suffering. I still get angry at people that I perceive to be evil doers, or oppressors of some sort. My heart goes out to the people that I perceive as being victimized, that I see as being oppressed or tortured or suffering in some horrible manner.
We can change the world, though, and ease its suffering if we remember that we have a choice. We can either live in fear – which is a state of anger – or we can live in love – which is a state of peace.
One of the things that helped me transform my way of thinking, and drop 90% of my anger over the state of things, was to begin studying A Course in Miracles. The Course is not dogmatic. It's not about doctrine or about believing rightly. It's about taking that one revolutionary step – being willing to see the world differently. It's about being willing to drop our anger, to drop our fear, to drop our hatred, to drop anything that creates a sense of separation between ourselves and other people.
One of the lessons in the Course, says, "I think with the mind of God," and I think this is especially important. In today's political climate, the majority of people in the world are not thinking with the mind of God. They are thinking with the mind of ego. They're thinking about who's wrong and who's right. Of course, they're thinking they're right and everybody else is wrong. They're thinking that we must compete for limited precious resources. They feel a sense of despair over events going on in the world, such as the collapse of Afghanistan, the rolling back of human rights in that country, especially for women and children. Naturally, people become outraged, or feel a sense of despair because it seems so hopeless.
Here's the truth of the matter: It is hopeless. The Course says we have created a hopeless world, because we have created it with our collective ego instead of our collective holiness. The ego has no intention of making any of it right. The ego has no sense of justice. It has no sense of mercy. The ego only knows hatred and revenge. The ego only offers fear and separation. If we are living in that place of ego, where we are driven by our fear, hatred or tribalism, then yes, we will create a hopeless world. It's the logical result.
How we change the world
Our secret weapon to end this hopeless world, though, is that one small step: willingness. Even if our willingness to think about this world with the mind of God – which is Love – is the size of a mustard seed, as Jesus says, then we can create a world that is full of hope and Love. I'm not talking about a sentimental kind of love, or a cloying kind of love. I'm talking about a fierce Love – the only thing that is real – that sets boundaries out of care and compassion.
Ken Wapnick, an expert teacher of the Course for many years, says often the most loving thing we can do is to stop people from hurting others. We can find ways to do that if we're in a state of willingness. Instead of being overwhelmed by hopelessness, we find and support humanitarian organizations that are working to help those who are suffering. Maybe we even start our own organizations dedicated to ending human suffering. If those organizations are founded in our holiness and not in our ego's need to be seen and glorified, then they will fulfill their mission and bring true healing and peace to the world.
After we've become willing to see the world differently and make new choices for peace and love, the next step puts that change into motion: We dedicate ourselves to cultivating our own inner peace. That may seem selfish or like some manner of navel gazing or spiritual bypass, but it's not. Doing our inner work and discovering the true peace that resides within all of us is the only way we have ever changed the world. It really is. I guarantee that your outrage will never heal the world. Only your peace can do that.
The Course and other metaphysical teachings tell us that we are all connected – so much so that there really is only one of us here. There is no separation in the mind of God. The Holy does not see us as the separate entities walking around in tribes and political parties. God only sees us as its innocent child. That word is singular. We are all children of God, but we are the one child of God, because there is no separation.
If you believe that there is no separation and that there was only one of us here, it is logical, then, that if even one of us attains perfect peace of mind, then the whole world does. The Course and other metaphysical teachings also say that the world outside of us is merely a projection of the world within. That means that when we see the world in turmoil, without peace, mired in hatred and division and separation, it is because that is what the world within us is like. We're the ones projecting all that suffering into the world. If that's true, then if we change the world within, then world without will change. It has to.
I have seen this in my own life. When I healed the anger that ruled my inner world, the world outside of myself changed. I was no longer surrounded by angry people and I no longer had a tolerance for being with angry people. I no longer could watch the news, because it's all just anger and fear and outrage 24/7. I know what's going on in the world, but I can't let myself be debilitated by outrage. That's what's happening in the world, we are deliberately allowing ourselves we are debilitated by fear and anger.
The Course tells us that we are never upset for the reasons that we think. We think the outside circumstances of the world have us riled but, the reality is, we're upset because we have not yet cultivated the peaceful world that already exists within each of us. We are upset because we want to see an outer world of peace and harmony, but we are not willing to create that peace and harmony within. We still hold grievances. We still project our blame and our guilt onto other people. We think the world would be better if they were acting rightly or if those people were voted out of office, or if that group of people just wasn't in the world at all. So, we try to make changes out here – to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic – and we still get the same old word.
Your turn: Cultivate willingness
My invitation to you to today, then, is to be willing. Be willing to let go of some – if not all – of your grievances. Start small. Give up your annoyance at other drivers on the road, or your disappointment if it rains on a day when you want to be outside. Be willing to let go of some of your anger. Be willing to let go of your despair over the world. If you are willing to go inside and change that world first and identify those places of outrage, anger, despair, fear and hatred that are within your own soul and hold a space of love for them, you can begin to heal the whole world. Once you begin to feel even the slightest bit of healing within, you will notice the world outside of you begin to heal as well, because we are all connected, all one.
We cannot save this world by putting more anger into it. We only save this world by putting more love in it. We can only put more love into the world when we have put more love into our heart and mind and become willing to be a channel for that love in the world. The Course says that when you want love, then all you will see is love. It just takes just a little willingness.
Here in this bodily realm, it can also take a little time. I'm not suggesting that any of this happens overnight. It doesn't. I have worked on this for years, and I still have more work to do. I still have more anger, and more hatred and more grievances to purge from my own heart. It's a lifetime journey.
Will I ever reach enlightenment? I don't know. But enlightenment is only a state of remembering who we truly are – that we are the light of the world – and seeking to embody that at all times. That seems like a tall order, but we can get there. It only takes a little willingness, and practice. That's what the workbook of A Course in Miracles is for, to help us practice to help put those concepts and ideas firmly into our heads first, and then they can move migrate into our heart so we become Love's embodiment – which is our natural state of being anyway. I invite you, then, take this time and examine your own limitations, your own barriers to love, whether that is fear or anger, whether that is despair, whether that is apathy, and be willing – even if it's just a little bit – to see it differently.
Take 20 with Candace
If you don’t have time to watch the full replay of Jubilee! Circle’s weekly celebrations, you can cut to the chase and spend 20 minutes (give or take) with me and enjoy my weekly message. This past week we explored the Wonder of Peace.
The Motley Mystic now has a podcast!
Tune in for the new Motley Mystic Meditation Moments Podcast
Sometimes our best ideas and deepest, most profound thoughts come after we've meditated or when we're out walking the dog and enjoying nature. I'll be sharing my extemporaneous thoughts and ideas on spirituality and transformational growth. I may be out of breath on the walk, but spirit is always breathing through us all.
There are already several episodes posted, including the latest one on One Easy Step to End the Suffering of the World that explores the question of our whole purpose in life. Are we here to pursue some calling or passion, or are we here to simply raise our vibration every day so those callings and passions are simply allowed to show up?
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass. She is also a musician and avid beer drinker.
One easy step to end the suffering of the world