My eye appointment with the Holy
Do you really want to see the world with God's eyes?
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When I moved into a new house a couple of years ago, I began walking my dogs around the neighborhood. Dogs are great if you want to meet people, because most folks can’t resist a cute puppy (although, surprisingly, some can). I met a lot of my neighbors in very short order and they were all very kind and welcoming. Except one. As I walked my dogs one afternoon, the man who lives on the corner across the street drove up beside me and rolled down his window.
I was readying my friendly greeting when I noticed the seriousness in his eyes, and then in his voice.
"I have noticed recently," he said without saying hello or anything, "there has been an increase in the amount of canine fecal matter in my yard."
That’s verbatim: “canine fecal matter.”
I was stunned into silence for a moment. He didn't introduce himself or say anything. He just waited for my reply. I thought, perhaps, he was joking – just making light of things.
I chuckled and said, “Not from my dogs. I carry bags with me a scoop their poop.”
“Well,” he said, continuing his serious tone, “I don’t know. All I know is I’m seeing more fecal matter.”
“I assure you, it’s not from my dogs,” I said as he rolled up his window and drove on.
Several months later, he did it again. I was walking by his house with my dogs and he got out of his car.
“Still too much canine fecal matter in my yard,” he observed.
“STILL, not my dogs,” I replied.
“Better not be,” he said walking away.
I felt the heat on my neck begin climb up into my scalp.
I turned on my heel, “Are you calling me a liar, sir?” I yelled at his retreating back.
He kept walking, which made me even angrier.
“I have never let my dogs take a shit in your yard, but there’s a first time for everything!” I yelled.
He kept walking. I began muttering loudly about the injustice of it all and how he needs to shut up if he doesn’t have any proof. He just went into his house and shut the door.
I moved out of that neighborhood earlier this year, but after the last incident, we never spoke again. After that incident, whenever I saw him driving up, I walked by without a word. We even ran into each other in the post office up the street and actually stared (glared?) at each other for a significantly long few seconds before silently moving on with our lives.
Lesson 27 in A Course in Miracles says: "Above all else I want to see," and it invites us to give "vision priority among your desires." That vision we're asked to prioritize is a Holy vision – the ability to see those around us through God's lens, not our ego's. God sees everyone as innocent, beloved and beautiful, despite their insistence that we have done something to harm them. This lesson makes me think about him, because I have trouble seeing him. Not just that, I have trouble wanting to see him – to see him as a beloved, innocent child of God, just like me. I want to be mad at him. Demonize him. Hate him, perhaps.
This lesson anticipates such a reaction, saying, "You may feel hesitant about using the idea, on the grounds that you are not sure you really mean it." Exactly. Do I really want to see this man in this way? I certainly wasn't so sure back then, but this lesson invites us to do the exercise of putting on our God goggles anyway, because just a little willingness now will become a habit - a new way of seeing the world - later.
If I am prioritizing this Holy kind of vision and I truly want to see above all else, then there’s probably not a better place to start than this neighbor of mine. Shortly after reading this lesson, I was again walking the dogs and I saw him pull up to his house and get out of the car with a restaurant takeout box in his hand. He disappeared into the house and came back out shortly afterward, got back into his truck and went back to work.
My gaze softened. He had brought lunch home to his wife. He’s a husband, I thought. A father, too. The people in that house love him, and he loves them. He owns his own business and employs several people. He provides for his family, for his employees and makes the world a better place with his cleaning business. I felt a tiny twinge of compassion for my neighbor. I had just experienced an eye appointment with the Holy, and now I was seeing more clearly.
I’m still working on all of this and it seems the universe is giving me chances to make amends – but I have stubbornly refused to be the first to speak a kind word. I feel ashamed, really, for getting angry at him – for holding a grievance instead of being open to a miracle.
If we truly want to see above all else, then we set ourselves up to experience miracles. I don’t need to understand. I don’t need to hear an apology. I don’t even need to be this man’s friend. All I need to be able to do is really see him – see him as innocent, as worthy, as part of me.
That, of course, hinges on whether I can see myself as innocent, worthy and part of him – part of the unity of all of us in the mind of God. First, I have to let go of my grievance against him – let it dissolve into the nothingness from which it came.
The Muslim mystic poet Hafiz puts it this way:
I have opened all the windows in my house.
Eagles fly in and out, as do any words
that are spoken about me.
Anything my ears might detect, firsthand or
second … I might give that news a moment’s
attention
And then just let it be the tiny evaporating
whiff of smoke it is, dissolving in the Infinite.
Take 20 with Candace
If you don’t have time to watch the full replay of Jubilee! Circle’s weekly celebrations, you can cut to the chase and spend 20 minutes with me and enjoy my weekly message. This past week we explored The Wonder of Sharing.
The Motley Mystic now has a podcast!
Tune in for the new Motley Mystic Meditation Moments Podcast
Sometimes our best ideas and deepest, most profound thoughts come after we've meditated or when we're out walking the dog and enjoying nature. I'll be sharing my extemporaneous thoughts and ideas on spirituality and transformational growth. I may be out of breath on the walk, but spirit is always breathing through us all.
There are already several episodes posted, including the latest one entitled Overcoming the Cursed Hows that explores how our ego works overtime to bog down our progress, whether it's spiritual or material, by constantly asking us how our dreams, visions and ideas will come to fruition, and how we can overcome this annoying egoic habit.
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass. She is also a musician and avid beer drinker.