My body, my tool
Resolving this year to use the body differently
Listen to this article:
As the new year is upon us, many will be flocking to the gym or making other resolutions to improve their bodies. We've done this dance before. The gym will be packed until about mid-February, when only the diehards and gym rats will be left. Classes will thin out. Machines will be more readily available.
Just before this past New Year's, Beth and I joined the gym. I can't help but think how buff and in-shape I'd be right now if our will hadn't gone the way of so many resolutions. Granted, we lasted longer than February, but other things got in the way and, like so many others, we kept paying the gym for all that time we weren't spending there.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, get fitter, and look better. In fact, it is part of my plan for the new year. Maybe not the gym this time. Maybe some easier yoga I can do in the privacy of my own home. Sweating in public has never been one of my favorite pastimes. Mainly because I feel embarrassed about my body. First, there are the head-sweats. Others may perspire from their armpits or other areas. For me, after the first ten minutes of any exercise, I look like a stepped out of the shower. My hair is sopping wet. I quit an exercise class at the Y one year because the instructor, about 10 minutes into our aerobics class, said, "Candace is working so hard. Her hair is already soaked!"
I know she probably felt like she was complimenting me, but I wanted to crawl under a yoga mat and disappear. I've never liked my body and for someone to call me out in a class and draw attention to it – especially its penchant for sweating profusely from its head – felt like a death.
Hating on the body
Here's the thing – we all hate our bodies in some way. Our hair is too straight, or too curly, or we don't have enough of it. Our waists are too thin, too think, too high, too low. Our legs are too long, too short, too thick, too thin. Our facial features are funky, our ears too big, or small, too high, or low. The list of flaws we find in our bodies is endless. After ditching the gym, all I can do now is grimace at the menopausal roll of flesh that clings to my midriff in all its ugly, pudgy, diet-resistant glory.
There are other reasons we hate our bodies, of course. They cannot perform like Simone Biles'. They cannot make money and bring fame like Taylor Swift's. They cannot command power and influence like Donald Trump's. They are not as graceful as Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers.
No matter what we think about what others do with their bodies, we are envious. We feel limited by our bodies – even if they are perfectly able and not disabled in some fashion. That feeling of limitation – of not being enough as bodies – leads us to punish our bodies. We feed it junk food and wonder why it's tired and out of shape. We feed it a diet of bad news and disinformation and wonder why it's discouraged and enraged. We create a world full of toxic pollution and wonder why it gets sick and dies. We grab selfishly at things that exclusively benefit our bodies and then wonder why we feel separated from all the other bodies.
We feel helpless to its whims, its addictions, desires, and needs. We often feel like the body is a wild horse and we're simply holding on for dear life as it bucks and careens through the world with a mind of its own.
Here's the thing, though; we have it all backward. Our bodies do not have a mind. We are the ones with the mind. We are the ones who control the body, who command it to compete, to attack, to fear, to rage, to despair over its frustrating fragility. The body is simply a tool for us to use in this world. It's like a hammer – it can either be used to bash someone's head in, or it can be used to build a house. The choice is ours: We can use our bodies to miscreate or to be a channel for Love in the world.
We miscreate all the time with our bodies. We see other bodies as enemies, out to destroy what we hold dear. We go to war and use our bodies to destroy other bodies. We see others using their bodies in ways that we don't like – or believe our god disapproves of – so we must pass laws that punish the bodies of others for behaving in ways we loathe or call "sinful." We imprison bodies we perceive as breaking some societal code of conduct. We torture bodies that seem to work against the best interest of our bodies. We murder, marginalize, disregard, and otherwise destroy the bodies of those we see as attacking us, but never stop to think that perhaps using our bodies in this way may be simply perpetuating more attack.
Train your mind this year
Maybe, this year, we should resolve not so much to get our bodies into shape, but to get our minds in tip-top shape. To stop seeing all the bodies around us as something to be used, abused, in competition with or defended against. What kind of a different world could we create if this year, we set about going to a mind-training gym where we learn how to see our own body as a constructive tool for building relationships with those around us instead a destructive tool of attack and competition?
What if, this year, we used our bodies for their intended purpose – to communicate Holy Love in this world?
"The ego separates through the body," according to A Course in Miracles. "The Holy Spirit reaches through it to others. You do not perceive your Holy Siblings as the Holy Spirit does, because you do not interpret their bodies and yours solely as a means of joining their minds and uniting them with yours and mine. This interpretation of the body will change your mind entirely about its value." [CE T-8.VI.2-3]
This is my resolution in this coming year – to use my body to only communicate Love – to join with everyone I meet or think about on that level of mind and spirit. I will continue to work to mitigate the harmful actions of bodies where I am able, but the value of my body in this world is not to attack others I see as acting wrongly in their bodies, but to remind them, on that higher level, that we are one – joined in Love with our Creator.
Sounds woo-woo and a bit namby-pamby, I suppose, but how is it better to keep punishing my body for its limitations? My body can't stop the wars going in Ukraine, the Middle East, or elsewhere. My body only has one vote in the US presidential elections. My body can't influence votes in Congress or stop dictators from taking over around the world. Believing it can leads only to despair and hopelessness.
When, however, I interpret my body as a channel for a limitless, transformational, all-powerful Love to enter this world and work its miracles on the level of spirit and mind, it changes how I value my body. Yes, I want it to be in good shape, so I will eat better and exercise more this year. Not because I will ever have a smokin' hot body (until I'm cremated, of course), but because I want it to be healthy enough to do the powerful work of bringing more love, more peace, more joy, and yes, more power into this world.
I begin by taking a vow to not use my body for attack in any way – which includes not seeing anyone else in this world as a body but looking deeper to the truth of who they – and all of us – are. We are all God's children, formed in Original Blessing and innocence. None of us have left our home in God but have fallen asleep in this world of terrifying nightmares. I take the bodhisattva vow* to free all beings, transform all illusions, perceive true Reality, and become the embodiment of unconditional love in the world.
I hope I make it past February.
*The Bodhisattva Vows:
Creations are numberless; I vow to free them.
Delusions are inexhaustible; I vow to transform them.
Reality is boundless; I vow to perceive it.
The awakened way is unsurpassable; I vow to embody it.
6 Motley Mystic missives you may have missed in 2023
Quit It: The secret to a long life is knowing when it’s time to go
Let’s see how it goes … : The art of not striving, because The Promised Land is overrated
Coming out as, and for, love: “An ancient hate is passing from the world …” ACIM, Chapter 30
From Pig-Pen to Popeye: Living in the light of charity: Eat your spiritual spinach
Music for the Journey:
“Because of Them” - Candace Chellew
“Because of Them” is based on a section from A Course in Miracles. We tend to see others as "sinful" or broken, and we assume we are too. "Nobody's perfect!" Because we see others as broken, we see that in ourselves. A Course asks us to see it differently. If we can see the blessing, the innocence, in others, then we can see it in ourselves. "Everyone is perfect!" To see your own light, see it in others first.
Consider this your first mental exercise for the New Year!
Looking for a guest speaker at your spiritual community? Contact me!
I have some speaking engagements coming up:
January 7, 2024: Clayton Memorial Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, Newberry, SC - 11 a.m.
January 14, 2024: Jubilee! Community, Asheville, NC. 11 a.m. Online viewing will be available.
January 28, 2024: Unitarian Church in Charleston, Charleston, SC. Online viewing will be available.
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution, or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well as Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass and the founder and senior editor emeritus of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for LGBTQ People of Faith. She is also a musician and avid animal lover.
Love this!
Good stuff Candace!