Feeling like the dog's breakfast? Try this
Or, what to do when you drop the dog food
I dropped nearly a whole bowl of dog food onto the floor this morning. It was a spiritual epiphany.
The breakfast for my 9-year-old German Shepherd, The Lord (because "The Lord is my shepherd."), has to be wet and mushy because she has TMJ, which makes her jaw quite sensitive to hard, crunchy foods. Much of the wet mess went down my pant leg, then splattered on the floor.
"Well, that's messy," I said out loud to the empty kitchen.
This, friends, is a miracle moment. Not even a year ago, I would have immediately been angry, and yelled a bunch of swear words at the gooey mess at my feet. Not only that, I would have shamed myself for being so clumsy. "Dang, Chellew, you can't do anything right."
This morning? I simply observed the obvious. I had made a mess. I was not angry. I had no words of admonishment to myself. I simply got a broom and towel, cleaned up the floor and served the dogs their breakfast.
Many years ago, one Jubilant, commenting on the spiritual practices we teach at Jubilee! Circle, wisely observed, "Either this shit works or it doesn't." I'm here to tell you, it works. Yes, it takes a bit of time to unlearn past patterns and erase all the tapes of shame and blame that play in your head from past traumas and abuse, but as I always told my classes when I was a Weight Watchers leader, "The program works if you work it."
Even for me, the one who preaches every week about letting go of our fear, doubt and unworthiness, it took some time for those axioms to really sink from my head's intellectual knowledge into my heart and become a knowing and a way of life. Now, I am better at using the tools I teach about to be willing to recognize my old self-abusing patterns, see them for what they are (useless!), heal them and let them go.
Sometimes it's hard to really see our progress along the spiritual path. We try and try time and again to use the tools we've been given – willingness, awareness, recognition, mindfulness, meditation, forgiveness, prayer – and time and again we feel like we fail. Then, one morning you drop the dog food and those old friends, anger and shame, fail to show up to the self-abuse party. In that moment, you know that all your work is paying off. It's like stepping onto that spiritual scale and seeing that 10 pounds of self-shame and blame have gone away.
I have been a student of A Course in Miracles since 2016 – but only seriously for the past four years or so. A Course is often maligned as teaching "spiritual bypass" by denying reality, or as downright heretical by those from my own Christian tradition. For me, though, it has given me a lens by which my tradition, and the world, finally make sense.
A Course is a mind-training manual that helps you strip away everything you thought you believed about this world – that it can bring you happiness, joy and peace from outside of yourself. Once you learn that everything you need is already within you – or as Jesus puts it, "The realm of God is within you" – then you slowly begin to understand that the only world you can truly change is the one you carry around in your own mind.
People and cultural norms may have told me at some point that I was worthless, clumsy, stupid, sinful or unimportant, but it was my choice to internalize those things and make them into the foundation of my self-identity. If it's true that it was my choice – albeit an unconscious one – to build my life on the shifting sands of shame and blame, then it's true that I can choose to demolish that shameful shack and build my house on the rock of worthiness, love, peace and joy that created me (and all of us) in the first place.
There was a seismic shift in my soul in the kitchen this morning. My emotional house of cards did not crumble at the first sign of what I believed was my deep character flaw of clumsiness. Instead, I was simply a human being who spilled the dog food, and now had a mess to clean up.
Once I had changed the world in my own mind, the world outside me changed. Anger and shame were no longer part of my experience of this messy moment.
One of the axioms of A Course that I rely on heavily is the simple idea that we always have the power to "choose again." We are not inherently sinful people, scarred forever by some "original sin." We are originally blessed spirits who are always one with their Creator and everyone that we believe to be separate from ourselves. That means that while we may commit errors in judgment or mistakes, we don't have to "repent" or beat ourselves up for them – we simply choose again and make wiser decisions based on what we've learned in the moment.
How are you treating yourself today? Are you berating yourself for those dog-food-spilling moments where you yell at yourself for being so clumsy, stupid or unworthy? I invite you, choose again. Choose to listen to the voice that tells you that you're loved, because you were created in love, peace and joy. The voices that tell you anything else about yourself are lying.
That berating ego voice is often the loudest one in your head, so here's a practice you might try: When the loud, shameful voice of ego starts in on you, take a deep breath and say, "Thank you for your input, now I'd like to hear Spirit's voice." (Or God, or Universe, however you envision the Creator.) By simply taking that moment to acknowledge the shameful, angry voice instead of following it down the rabbit hole, you create space for Spirit to speak. This is a simple willingness to hear a different voice – the voice of Love that will reassure you that you are, indeed, worthy of joy and peace.
If you can make this a consistent practice, then one day, when you observe the mess you've made in that moment, you'll simply grab the broom, clean it up and realize that you have made the better, wiser choice.
Have you had a “dog food dropping” incident recently? How did you handle it? What’s your current growing edge? Tell us about it in the comments!
Do you know of friends, family members, or even enemies who may benefit from this article? Share it!
Want to learn more about A Course in Miracles?
Jubilee! Circle hosts an informal discussion group about A Course in Miracles every Wednesday night at 7:30 p.m. Eastern Time. If you’re in the Columbia, SC area, you can join us in-person at 6729 Two Notch Road, Ste. 70 in Columbia. If you’re anywhere else in the world, join us by Zoom using the link below. Whether you’re new to ACIM, or have been studying it for years, this is a low-pressure, friendly environment to learn more and grow together! Join us:
Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86088245457?pwd=bWd6QzhscGlUYnFnYUU1dy9uTUVMZz09
Are you looking for spiritual guidance?
I am a trained and certified spiritual director who can help you deepen your connection to the Holy and guide you as you seek spiritual growth and transformation.
If you’ve been feeling out of touch with the Holy or simply want to explore new practices to strengthen your spirituality, I can help you. I use a motley collection of techniques based in traditions such as Buddhism, Christianity, metaphysics and, of course, A Course in Miracles.
Contact me at candace@motleymystic.com for more details.
Take 20 with Candace
If you don’t have time to watch the full replay of Jubilee! Circle’s weekly celebrations, you can cut to the chase and spend 20 minutes (give or take) with me and enjoy my weekly message. This message is taken from Jubilee! Circle's celebration from February 20, 2022, as we learned about the light of joy.
Subscribe to Jubilee! Circle’s YouTube channel and join us every Sunday at 11 a.m. EST for our livestreamed celebrations!
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass and the founder and senior editor emeritus of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for LGBTQ People of Faith. She is also a musician and avid beer drinker.