Crushed by pain? Lighten your load
I have had chronic, and sometimes debilitating, back pain for years.
During flare ups, I literally feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world. In truth, that's exactly what's happening: I am carrying the weight of my inner world and it can get heavy in here. When I look back on the times when my psychological pain manifested physically, it's always been in those same back muscles you'd use to carry something heavy across your shoulders. The psychological sources of the pain have ranged from a relationship breakup, to fear of failure, to a fear that I'd never be good enough to succeed at anything.
In those moments, I have felt like I was the only one in the world carrying that kind of weight, but the truth is, we all experience this heaviness, and often it manifests in physical pain. Dr. John Sarno, back in 1991, made that mind-body connection to pain in his best-selling book on healing back pain. While the concept of our limiting beliefs manifesting as pain in our backs or other areas of our bodies may sound woo-woo, the science has progressed over time as doctors now prescribe emotional awareness practices to help patients express emotions they've been avoiding as a way to ease their chronic pain.
In short, when you're experiencing physical pain, there's often an unrecognized emotion or limiting belief that's being expressed through that pain. Sure, some pain may come from legitimate injuries or chronic conditions and should be medically addressed, but identifying, acknowledging, healing and releasing old emotional wounds can often relieve many physical pains.
In a recent podcast with leadership coach Carey Nieuwhof, best-selling author Shauna Niequist talks about how Dr. Sarno's methods have helped her release limiting beliefs that were causing her physical pain. She says she expected those limiting patterns to be about some major trauma in her past. However, she discovered that what needed to be released for her were things that sounded like "really stupid stuff," such as: "I'm not doing a good enough job in my work. I'm not being responsible enough to the people around me. People are disappointed with me. I'm failing in this or that way. This is one of my core ones, if somebody else had the opportunities that I have, they'd do so much better a job with it. It's those kinds of ideas."
I really resonated with that last one, because I often berate myself for not being driven enough or successful enough in the eyes of the world. Surely, if someone else had my talent, skills and privilege, they'd make use of it than I have. That's enough emotional pain right there to put me in bed for a week with an aching back.
What are your limiting beliefs? What keeps you bearing the weight of your inner world on your shoulders, limiting the moments of true joy and happiness that you could be experiencing instead? It doesn't have to be a huge trauma to keep you sidelined, and usually it's not. Often those feelings are the "really stupid stuff" that makes you believe you're not good enough, smart enough or liked enough.
Here's the truth: We're all enough. We all have gifts and treasures to bring into the world. We're all blessed with talents and skills that can benefit this world. None of us are inadequate and we are all up to the tasks we've been called to do, because the truth about us is that we all bring something vital and unique to this world. If we could just get out of our own way.
How do we do that? Niequist offers us her method: "I lay on the floor and I look up at the ceiling, and I try to think about thoughts and feelings that I don't give myself permission to say out loud, and I practice letting them leave my body and float up to the ceiling and the pain goes away."
Niequist herself says this process "sounds silly," but here's the thing – it works. I've done this myself. If we can make space in our bodies to feel what we're feeling and give those emotional patterns a voice, they will leave. Often, the pain in our bodies comes from old patterns that no longer work for us. These patterns may have served us well at some point in our lives by helping us survive trauma or providing the tools and strength we needed then. Now, though, as we move into a new season of life, they're limiting us and hindering our growth and need to be released.
The process may sound "silly" to us and the emotions that need to be released may feel "really stupid" but I assure you, we are all struggling with similar challenges. We all struggle with feelings of self-worth, self-doubt, and inadequacy. Every single one of us, though, wants the same thing: We all want peace, we all want joy, we all want a sense of freedom, and to feel like we're enough. The only thing stopping you from realizing any of those things in your life is you – that ego that insists you must keep all the emotional baggage you've accumulated throughout your life.
Here's the truth: You don't need any of it. Whatever is preventing you from feeling peace, joy, freedom and enoughness and is causing you real, physical pain, must be seen, allowed, healed and released.
I invite you, today, to spend some time thinking about the limiting beliefs that are holding you back – and may be causing some pain in your body. Give yourself the permission you need to recognize old, useless patterns that are stuck in your body. Look on these emotions and beliefs with compassion and speak them out loud. Allow them the freedom they need to be seen, recognized and appreciated for how they helped you in the past. Then give them the permission they need to leave.
If you can do this, then I guarantee you'll feel lighter as the weight of your inner world lifts off of your shoulders.
How about you? What weight are you carrying and how are you going to put it down? Let’s talk in the comments.
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Take 20 with Candace
This week’s Take 20 is from Jubilee! Circle's Easter celebration from April 17, 2022: “The Barrier of Death.”
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About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true, Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass and the founder and senior editor emeritus of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for LGBTQ People of Faith. She is also a musician and avid animal lover.