Being normal in weird world
Why we're not strangers in a strange land
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"This world is not my home!"
That was one of the slogans I grew up with in the Southern Baptist Church. It was all part of Jesus' admonition to "be in this world but not of it." As evangelical Christians, we were taught that we're aliens here – strangers in a strange land – just hanging out until Jesus comes back and raptures us all to heaven. As visitors, then, we were to be about God's business of saving souls, and not about the world's business of "sins of the flesh." Those were usually characterized to us as kids as no drinking, no dancing, no swearing, no long hair on boys and no joy in life in general. For the adults, it meant those things too, with the addition of other rules such as not cheating on your spouse (or at least not getting caught), and not getting caught up in worldly affairs like politics. Oh, if only evangelicals still felt that way.
I don't know if it was just the deep tentacles of the toxic religious lessons of my youth, my sexual orientation, or my unnamed and misunderstood mild form of gender dysphoria, but I have always felt like this world was not my home. Not just this world, but in my own body. My skin has always been ill-fitting, and my limbs and torso have just never moved in the graceful ways of other bodies. It's like I've never truly figured out how to operate this flesh suit and I still clumsily flail and crash along while others glide through the world.
The longer I live and the more people I meet, the more I realize that feeling like an alien in this world is fairly common. If that's true, then maybe those of us who can't feel at home here are not weirdos. Maybe we're actually the normal people lost in a weird world. The normal part of us that feels so out of place, I would posit, is our true Divine Self – that spark of the Divine that longs to be back in union with God and all the other disparate spirits wandering this weird world.
What made this odd world is the part of us that thinks this world is normal – our ego. Collectively, our egos set up this place. That's why those who benefit from the systems – be they political, social, economic, or religious – don't feel like strangers here. They're still under the thrall of the ego and since the system is benefiting their physical and egoic needs, everything seems quite copacetic. To them the world ain't broke and isn't in need of fixing.
For those of us more attuned to our inner Divinity, we can see how warped the world is that our collective egos have created. Our ego, too, has played a role in this world's weirdness. Egos are resilient little buggers and when we recognize them, they tend to shape shift and try to convince us that they're our inner Divinity!
This is why the "This world is not my home!" slogan is so seductive. It feels spiritual. It feels like you're on higher moral ground that THOSE people. Which is, of course, your first clue. Anything that makes you feel superior – or separate – is the ego's stock and trade. This is its main "tell."
We are indeed to be in this world but not of it, but being in the world means that we have certain rights and responsibilities to this world without becoming bogged down by the egoic shitshows that monopolize the evening news. Instead, we must detach from the material trappings of the world, while we still attend to our daily vocations as well as what we feel are our spiritual callings. We should be as devoted to our spiritual growth as we are to our material growth – but without attachment to material outcomes.
Hindu yogi and teacher Yogananda writes "that to be mentally and physically idle, neglecting to perform the duties required of you, is to be forsaken by God and man. And to carry out your duties but forget God is to be like the mule carrying a bag of gold: It gets a little satisfaction by receiving food as a reward for carrying its load, but it does not use or appreciate the priceless treasure on its back. To perform all proper outer duties with concentration, while being inwardly aware of the gold of God's presence, is the ideal mode of living – the way to everlasting happiness."
This should be our normal state of being, but if we pursue such a path – attending to both outward duties and our devotion to the Holy with a spirit that seeks only unity – we are considered weird in this world. This, however, is the normal state for all of us – to live in a state of diminished ego, to withdraw from contributing to the ongoing weirdness of this ego-based world. When enough of us do that, the ego-driven qualities of this world will also diminish. This is how we change the world, to so diminish the ego-created world within ourselves that our true home emerges outside of ourselves from the ruins of the old. That world will feel like home because it is generous, cooperative, peaceful, devoid of war, hatred, despair, and feelings of separation.
This may sound like a pipe dream, but I believe this home away from home is inevitable. The Hindu concept of time called The Yugas tells us that we are on an ascending cycle of consciousness. We are moving inexorably toward full enlightenment (not in this lifetime for any of us since it will take thousands of years to achieve), but our role in the world is to hasten the coming of this age. We're not waiting to be raptured up into a different world, but we're called to quicken the age of enlightenment by tuning into our normal state as enlightened beings and living from that place of love, joy, and peace in a world that still doesn't fully understand it.
We can speed up this enlightenment in many ways. Certainly, we can act in the world – protesting, campaigning for those we feel will bring more enlightened laws and policies to bear on society, talking with our government representatives, and forming or helping organizations pushing for change. The most important thing we can do, though, is meditate and work to greatly diminish the egoic presence within ourselves. We cannot create a world of love, joy, peace, compassion, and unity if there is any shred of hatred, fear, war, violence, indifference, or separation within our own heart and mind. This is why I say we must "diminish" these things, because only the truly enlightened can completely quash these egoic tendencies.
The more of us recognize our true calling in this world is to not just to do something but also to sit and focus our heart and mind on the Divine, even as we work and enjoy the world, then the faster our enlightenment will come. Things in this world may get worse before they get better, but that's actually up to us. We are not helpless. Like that mule, we carry a priceless treasure. We are called to action, to be the voice, the heart, the mind, and the arms of love and unity in this world. When that action is based not on fear, but on love, then whatever we do will create miracles. Minds and hearts will be changed, the trajectory of history will be changed.
The religion of my youth was right, this egoic world is not our home. But together, we can create a true home away from home that obliterates all separation and fear.
Music for the Journey
“With My Own Two Hands” - Ben Harper and Jack Johnson
Upcoming Speaking Gigs:
May 5, 2024: Clayton Memorial Unitarian Universalist Church - Newberry, SC
May 12, 2024: Jubilee! Community in Asheville, NC
June 23, 2024: The Unitarian Church in Charleston, SC
Past Guest Speaking Gigs:
This is the sermon I delivered at the Unitarian Church in Charleston, S.C., on January 28, 2024. (Stick around at the end to hear my original song, “I Believe.”)
Looking for a guest speaker at your spiritual community? Contact me!
About the Motley Mystic:
The Motley Mystic is an online community for people who have realized that the truth speaks with many voices. There is no one religion, philosophy, institution, or dogma that captures the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth. No one needs to swear allegiance to one line of thought or belief to discern Truth, because Love is the only thing that’s real. That’s what we explore at the Motley Mystic - all the tools and strategies we need to remove our barriers to Love and live fully as our true Divine Self.
Candace Chellew is the founder of Motley Mystic as well as Jubilee! Circle, an interfaith spiritual community in Columbia, S.C. She is also the author of Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians published in 2008 by Jossey-Bass and the founder and senior editor emeritus of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for LGBTQ People of Faith. She is also a musician and avid animal lover.